So, as many of you are probably aware, I have bipolar. Around May of last year I, with my doctors, decided that it was time for me to come off medication. At the time I was taking Abilify and Fluoxetine. I was not going very well on the medication – tiredness and brain fuzz, mainly due to the Fluoxetine, and when I was not taking that my obsessive-compulsive behaviour skyrocketted.
I was coping really well off the medication until a few months ago when things really went very downhill. The only thing I felt that I could competently do was look after my daughter, and almost literally all of my energy went in to that. I made the decision to go back on medication, and have been back on Abilify for around a month. Things are going well.
Except when they aren’t, and that’s when I (try to) run. I am so tired all the time, but more painful that that is that my body just has nothing. I can’t even say that my body has no energy, because it’s even worse than that. I have nothing. I cannot run for more than about 4.5kms (even with significant walking breaks) before my body shuts down.
I am going to talk to my doctor about this at our next appointment, but in the mean time, I am struggling without the ability to run. And because running has been so difficult, I am losing the will to even try.
As such, the two half marathons, marathon, and ultra that I have planned over the next six months might be a pipe dream.
Please consider supporting me anyway – I am fundraising for Mind, the Mental Health charity, and you can donate here, or by texting EMST83 £xx (i.e. insert the amount to donate, e.g. EMST83 £3) to 70070.
I will update as much as I can, and hopefully will be able to update with some good news soon. If I cannot run comfortably for 15km within the next month I am going to have to pull out of the two halfs in March, and Paris marathon – my cardio fitness seems to be fine, and I feel that if I can sort out the tiredness then this is an achievable goal.