On wanting to run

I have deferred my entry from the Thames Trot 50 mile race, on February 1st.  I am now running Round Ripon 35 miler on October 4th.  I’ve done this for several reasons, but mainly because I want to prepare properly, and at this stage I am no where near proper preparation for TT, and I would just injure myself more.

I am hurting a lot at the moment, and a lot of that has to do with not running.  And, it’s not injury, it’s emotional hurt.  Tin Man and I are separating, and I am finding that it’s difficult to get out and run at all, because I pick up the Neon Toddler from nursery and have to get her home for dinner, then bath and bed and I’m doing it all on my own (well, my nights anyway, which at this stage are the majority of nights).  It’s hard.  Trying to be a good parent, and a good person, and a good writer.  Trying to finish my PhD and then, when it’s all over, trying to make time to run.  It doesn’t matter if I want to run at 10pm, because I can’t.  I physically cannot get out of the house because the Neon Toddler is asleep, or in the bath, or needs dinner.  I don’t want to take her out in the running buggy in the cold.

I am going to start running home from the nursery drop off – but that eats in to my working time.  I think I need to make that small sacrifice though.  It’s about a 6km run home, I could make it longer as I get on.  As it is, that’s 2km further than I’ve run in over a month, so even twice a week would be a start.  I’m going to start on Wednesday (I have the Neon Toddler at home on Tuesdays, so no nursery).

What I really need is a marathon, perhaps in May, that I can really start training for.  Anyone fancy spotting me an entry to the Edinburgh Marathon?


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